“Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.”- Albert Einstein (Source)

I’m not happy if I’m not being useful. I don’t know why, but this has been true for a very long time. If I can help, I do. Sometimes I help even when I really can’t. It’s a weird affliction.

People tell me that I need to learn to say no more often, but I really just can’t do it. It’s a blow to my attempts to maintain a distant, unkind front. I have this helpful aura about me, despite myself.

As a result, I’m always looking for yet another way to help people. The Dead Bunny blog is a perfect example of this. It wasn’t enough for me to reach out to local students who need help in math. I had to create this blog to reach a wider audience. I think it’s actually the first time I’ve ever created a blog with the express purpose of reaching an audience.

Of course, as a natural teacher, I’m always adding some sort of value whenever I’m talking about just about any topic. It’s earned me a few interesting nicknames over the past year or so… But it’s also left me feeling like I’m not doing enough, like I could be doing more.

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.” —J. Pierpont Morgan (Source)

About a year ago, I realized that I needed to do something. I had to shake off a rather large failure in my past and figure out how to move forward. Moving forward meant finding a profession where my unique combination of talents and passion would be well-utilized. After exploring job descriptions, I’d come to the slow realization that this meant being in a position where I can create educational experiences and still occasionally teach. A friend suggested I look into instructional design, not realizing I had already considered it. After much research, I finally realized that instructional design by and large focuses on adults, and I want to remain K-12 oriented.

This led to my applying for several freelance writing jobs. To my delight, many of the employers liked me. To my minor dismay, they liked someone else a little bit more. I still found the whole experience encouraging. It helped me feel like I was on the right path, that I was moving forward in some invisible way.

About a month or so ago, I discovered that many of the K-12 educational jobs that intrigue me look more for interactive media experience rather than instructional design. It’s led to my changing my approach to trying to find my path, but in the end is still going to lead me back to school, I suspect.

As long as I can keep moving forward, clearing away the things that don’t fit and building up the things that do, I know I’ll get there.

Posted by Rebecca in Personal development