I have never been a popular kid. In fact, I’ve pretty much been used to being ignored unless someone needed information or tutoring. I’ve never really given it a second thought because it’s left me with the time and freedom to explore and enjoy things that matter to me instead of the crowd.

Then, I moved here and took a job at a tutoring center, and suddenly a lot of eyes were on me.

The most interesting side effect of falling under the microscope has been the development of “signatures”. At first, it was my necklace with the all-seeing eye that I wore frequently the first couple of years I lived here. If I ever wore one of my own creations, half a dozen students would worry that I wasn’t wearing my signature necklace. When the necklace vanished nearly a year ago, I think the students were more choked up about it than I was (and I was pretty torn up over it). They’d frequently ask after it.

The thing is, the necklace expressed several things about my personality, and the students had fun either finding comfort in what they assumed about my wearing it, or in making me laugh with their guesses. No one ever figured out it was a secret society thing, but they either blamed it for the four-month period when I couldn’t escape anything related to Egypt or they decided it was how I chose to announce the fact I like Yu-Gi-Oh.

Earlier this year, I had a new signature that I wasn’t aware had achieved signature status until I retired it. I have a Hello Kitty mechanical pencil that I was using almost exclusively for a while until I became frustrated by the fact it had no eraser. Again, the pencil spoke volumes about me. Some of the students know I love Hello Kitty, but others saw the pencil as a sign of my love of anime (They really need to see my Fruits Basket pencil…). Occasionally, someone would notice the artwork on the pencil, and it would lead to outing myself as something of a tea snob. When I switched to a high-quality, plain jane mechanical pencil, I heard about it. Many of the students were concerned that I’d lost the Hello Kitty pencil. At that point, one of my high schoolers informed me I needed to get a new signature accessory, and fast.

I moved away from the pencil a couple of months ago. I wear whatever necklace I grab in the morning. I wear the same hairclip every day, but tortoiseshell interlaced with silver sparkles is apparently not distinctive enough to be “me”.

I’m not used to so much scrutiny. I’m not used to so much interest in how I look. It’s uncomfortable.

But I am curious to find out what will be identified as my next “signature”.